We Respond to Life Based on Our Pre-Programming
We’ve all been conditioned to react, believe, and think based on our childhood experiences, our environment, and who we are surrounded by. It can be an indicator of marriage problems to come. Here’s an example of how it may affect our relationship:
You were raised in a family where your mother always had dinner on the table when your father returned from work, and the house was in perfect order (wasn’t this the agreement when the marriage license was issued?). Fast forward to today. It’s been a long day at work. You are starving, and come home to kids screaming, dishes from the morning are still in the sink, and the only smell you notice is the dog poop in the corner. Your wife is on the phone talking to someone and you’re furious that things appear out of control and dinner is not even started (uh, did she not understand the unwritten marriage license rules??). The reality is she’s been up since 3am, unable to sleep because of concerns of your son’s academics; she worked 6 hours today; picked up the kids, took them to soccer practice; got home one hour ago; threw laundry in the washer; helped with homework; and is on the phone with a potential tutor to help your son. She’s as frustrated as you and when you unload verbally she is ready to attack back.
It’s About How We Choose to React
Ever been in this situation? What if you chose to have a different reaction? Here’s an example:
You notice the chaos and see that your wife is stressed. You take a deep breath, gather the kids and promise them ice cream after dinner, if they help get the house straightened up. By the time your wife is off the phone, the house is cleaner, kids are quieter, and dinner is started. You and she have a glass of wine and discuss the day, as you both help get dinner prepped. The evening is more relaxed and enjoyable …huge bonus – even the kids seem peaceful!
Changing Our Pre-Conditioned Subconscious Mind
See the difference your reaction made? This change in behavior makes a profound difference in the success of marriage. Obviously, this is easier said than done. Getting in touch with our subconscious thoughts, through meditation, positive affirmations, and/or hypnotherapy, makes it simpler to change how we WANT to behave and think. There are many useful tools on Youtube and the internet to help you gain control of your thoughts and mold them in a more positive way.
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*Fact based on study from Dr. Nick Delgado, who graduated from the University of Southern California and served as Director of the Pritikin Better Health Program of the Nathan Pritikin Longevity Center. He is one of the world’s primary experts on anti-aging.